batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
