Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
