So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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