I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize