I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
