I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so let's talk penis.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
