so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
