is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
