I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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