You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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