Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
