I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
