I have demons in me.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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