Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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