I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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