it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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