Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
