Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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