captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
