butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
