If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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