What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
