My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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