if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I need a beard to bite.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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