k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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