you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
