I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
