it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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