My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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