You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
