Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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