Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
