You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
