Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
