what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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