if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
