Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Randomize
