i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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