What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
