Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize