Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
