Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
