I hate your face
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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