My underwear smells like fireworks.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
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