so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
