Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
