i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
my poor anus
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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