Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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