He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
