We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
