My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
