the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
