I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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