The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Randomize
