You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
