i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
