I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
