It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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