i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
