summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Randomize
