haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Randomize
