Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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