her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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