Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
