**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
