and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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