Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
