Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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