smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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