I want to stick my p in your. b.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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