So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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