How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
