Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
