i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
