oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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